No matter what,there’s no escaping our past. The outlines of our childhood become the guardrails of our present selves; and oftentimes the trauma has a nasty habit of embossing itself most prominently, a tactile relief differentiating fear from hope, lethargy from action, and brackish cynicism from earnest conviction. Sometimes unfairly so, our parents and upbringing program our functioning in the real world.
Which helps explain why George Costanza fromSeinfeldis the way that he is.Seinfeldis one of those shows that helped shape the sense of humor of millions, and Jerry Stiller and Estelle Harris' brilliant portrayals of Frank and Estelle Costanza are a huge part of that legacy. Here are the 18 funniestSeinfeldepisodes featuring George’s parents.
18"The Cigar Store Indian"
Ofall the fantastical things that happen onSeinfeld, the plot line for “The Cigar Store Indian” is pretty relatable. George meets a woman, and takes her home. The only problem is that it’s still his boyhood home, and a twin bed is pretty tough to hook up on. Naturally, his parents being out of town, George pretends the house is his, serves her a glass of prune juice, and takes her to the master bedroom. All goes to plan — until George’s mother comes home and finds a condom wrapper between the sheets.
George is busted. He confesses, seeing no way out, and spends the rest of the episode trying to convince his mother that she doesn’t need to buy a new bed. But for a simple twist of fate, many of us could find ourselves in an equally awkward position. At least he’s using protection.
After years of having his parents only a borough away, it finally occurs to George how strange it is that they never retired to Florida to join their many peers.
The Costanzas are satisfied where they are, but change their minds once the Seinfelds attempt to keep them out. The move is vintage Larry David — once the slightest morsel of disrespect is detected, the host must feast upon revenge. The petty animus at play, especially among the older generation in the show, who have nothing better to do than claw each others' eyes out, is on full display. There’s nothing quite as endearingly satisfying as conflict between old people.
16"The Understudy"
This episode presentsa rare alliancebetween Elaine and Frank, who usually only ever tolerate one another. They both have despotic, commanding tendencies, so it’s easy to see why there’s friction.
Related:The Best Seinfeld Characters, Ranked
Still, they bag it up long enough for Frank to join Elaine at a Korean manicurist, translating what Elaine is sure are insults. Of course, she’s right, but Frank blows the subterfuge with his bombastic temper, and Elaine is shunned from her regular shop. Frank ends up reacquainting with a long-lost love, but it doesn’t work out when his cheapAmerican Graffiti-style sexual harassment gets him shunned, too.
15"The Caddy"
Once again, it’s so much fun to see Frank and Estelle interact with members of the cast other than just George. It’s almost as if they’re kept pets in the Costanza family zoo, but whenever George isn’t around, he forgets to shut the door to the monkey cage.
“Jerry, it’s Frank Costanza. Mr. Steinbrenner is here, George is dead, call me back.”
-Message on Jerry’s answering machine
In this instance, George’s absence at work and banged-up car lead Steinbrenner to conclude that he’s died in service to the Yankees. Swell guy that he is, he visits the Costanzas personally to deliver the news, but all Frank wants is to excoriate Steinbrenner for his Buhner/Phelps trade with the Mariners. Frank is a Yankee, first and foremost.
14"The Money"
While sniffing around about his inheritance, George accidentally triggers Frank and Estelle’s awareness of their sizable nest egg, and their limited time to spend it. From then on, it’s Pierre Cardin ties and Coupe d’Elegance Cadillacs.
What’s interesting is a piece of sage business advice from George, who advises Elaine to schedule a late meeting to get Morty Seinfeld fired. According to George, “These guys are up at 4am. By 2:30, they’re wiped.” It’s actually a brilliant strategic move. Even more, his parents end up finally moving to Del Boca Vista. Of all the episodes on this list, George actually comes out relatively on top by the end.
Until Frank sees Jerry asleep in a Cadillac, and mistakes him for a bum. Then it’s back to Queens again.
13"The Serenity Now"
Childhood friend and erstwhile competition for George is Lloyd Braun, who had a nervous breakdown after getting dumped by Elaine and losing the mayoral race for David Dinkins.
From then on, George relishes in taking stabs at Lloyd’s tenderest targets, as payback for all the times Estelle compared him unfavorably to his more successful friend. So George can’t take it when Lloyd outsells him in Frank’s cockamamie computers-over-the-telephone sales model. Meanwhile, Frank has gotten into the habit of yelling “serenity now!” every time he’s frustrated, which is kind of a lot.
Lloyd, resigned to defeat, warns George on his way out the door that Frank shouldn’t rely too much on his technique, in that it bottles up the anger. Ever the gentle touch, George sneers incredulously at Lloyd’s grasp of mental health, over his “stay in the nuthouse.” Lloyd’s wide-eyed response has become aSeinfeldclassic: “Serenity now. Insanity later.”
12"The Chinese Woman"
This entry was really just an excuse to prominently display Larry David as Frank Costanza’s divorce attorneys, the Man in the Cape. “It’s good cape weather,” Jerry quips.
Related:George Costanza’s Most Iconic Quotes, RankedAlso, Estelle doesn’t trust the advice of Jewish girls from Long Island. Is Changstein even a real last name? Seems like a reach.
11"The Doorman"
Frank, while separated from Estelle, ends up living with George for a short while. His idea of bachelorhood, including record shopping in Greenwich Village, is actually quite charming,in anInside Llewyn Daviskind of way. But records lead to cha-chaing, and cha chaing leads to dancing with Kramer, and dancing with Kramer leads to the invention of the first chest support undergarment for men, the bro/manssiere.
Unfortunately, Frank’s contact in the bra world, Sid Vargas, puts his foot in his mouth by suggesting a liaison with the newly-single Estelle, sexual minx that she is. Frank explodes, the business is kaput, and George is stuck in a bed with Frank turning down a bite of kasha.
10"The Rye"
Somewhere around George and Susan’s second outing and subsequent engagement, the Rosses, Susan’s parents (having patched things up after the discovery of Henry Ross' longtime affair and correspondence with author John Cheever), decided to give it the old WASP treatment: They buried their mistakes, sentiments, and proclivities in maid services and clear alcohol. You know, for the sake of the estate. You never want to argue in front of the money.
The result being their sounding board as a relatively normal family unit, as opposed to the Costanzas, who have the relative stability of a suspension bridge made of custard. This juxataposition is on full display duringThe Rye, when Frank decides to impress his future in-laws with a prized loaf of rye bread from Schnitzer’s Deli. When they forget to serve it, Frank revernts to his default position of justified umbrage, and steals the loaf back. This leaves George holding a fishing pole to retrieve a substitute rye from Jerry at street level after a flatulent horse fails to adequately distract Susan’s parents.
In a perverse way, it’s endearing that George would go through such lengths to ensure a positive relationship between the two sets of elderly couples. Vitriol among family members can put a lot of stress on a marriage. Luckily, you know. Susan dies, so it never comes up again.
9"The Junk Mail"
It’s pretty simple, really. George catches his parents avoiding him, and decides that being caught romancing his cousin is the best way to win back their attentions.
It’s a late-series, post-Larry David move, to be sure. Incest, while a popular literary theme among the sexually transgressive works of Nobokov or the Marquis de Sade, is generally thin in primetime sitcoms. What it represents in the history of the show is a reversal of the standard paternal attitude usually displayed by Frank, and especially Estelle. She’s usually so worried about George, and wants constant updates on his career, love life, friends. She really is a concerned mother.
Frank: “George, we’ve had it with you. Understand? We love you like a son, but even parents have limits.”
Estelle: “The breakups, the firings. And every Sunday with the calls.”
Frank: “We’re cutting you loose. […] Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna make love to your mother.”
So it’s all the more telling that their tolerance for George’s constant shenanigans finally hits a wall, and they can’t even feign interest for a weekly phone call. In terms of structure, it had to happen. In terms of content, it’s pretty messed up.
